So, after spending the past few weeks discussing what could be going better with the church, and, to be honest, what I find myself expecting from a church in my current hunt to find a new one, I have found myself in a bit of a dilemma. How does one compromise what they want (or feel they need) from a church with the current options out there?
Image obtained from flickr.com
I’ve been to quite a few churches in the years since I left the church of my youth. I’ll admit that I haven’t been to quite as many as I’d like, as I find myself getting disappointed all to frequently. But I’ve still been to many very different churches. And I find that there seems to be a few options out there, but never quite what I’m looking for. There are the standard churches, ones that stick with the traditional liturgy, traditional format, traditional everything. I’ve found it hard to stick with those, as my childhood training kicks in, and I have to struggle to pay attention.
There are the churches that attempt to put on airs of a bit more of a contemporary feel. Most of them still have the same basic format as the churches of old, however, and it is still really easy to feel lost within the group. There are others that try to hide the liturgy a bit more under the pretense of something that feels quite a bit more like a rock concert, who then somehow awkwardly cram a sermon in there. There’s also the ones where you almost feel as if you’re at some sort of summer camp, but instead of a campfire, there’s just the same ol’ routine, hiding in the middle of camp counselor types singing Kumbaya in the corner.
And there’s the ones that lose the traditional format altogether. These start promisingly enough, showing much more of a personal atmosphere to them. One of the ones I attended even had a segment where every person was invited to come up and light a candle and talk about whatever was getting them down, or they were thankful for at that exact moment. I loved that. But when it came to a message, they had no real message. In fact, the ‘sermon’ for the week was that the pastor would read a children’s book that had a relatively loose connection to spirituality. My wife pointed out to me later that they never used the word god throughout the entire service either.
Then there’s the church which is the friendliest church in the world. If you think your church is the friendliest, then you are either a liar, or a member of this church that I’m talking about. You couldn’t ask for a more pleasant crowd of folks who all show their excitement at your presence. But, then, of course, there’s the issue that the message itself was nothing all that spectacular, and, although not really an issue, the crowd was as thin as the hair on all of the member’s heads.
It gets really depressing when you start looking at all of the options and see that what you’re looking for doesn’t seem to exist. There was one church that my wife and I found ourselves really enjoying for a while, even though they stuck with the traditional format/liturgy. The reasoning was simple, we really liked the pastor. He spoke from the heart, and openly, and make you feel like he was really talking to you, instead of talking over you or about you. It’s the church we go to when I feel as though I can’t handle being completely disappointed by a new church, or when I don’t have any leads on another good possibility.
But it’s still not what I want.
So the question comes into play pretty easily. Should one compromise? When looking for a spiritual home, is it better to find the best of the worst, or is it better to wait it out, wading through the multitude of options hoping that the next leap will be the leap home? I’ve received many opposing thoughts on the matter, and I have to admit that I am somewhat at a loss regarding all of it. I mean, when looking for a community, shouldn’t you do your best to find the one you want?
Or, of course, there’s always the other, much more frightening option. You can always attempt to start your own community. But the dangers that lay in wait there are abundant. Not only are you hoping that anyone actually cares to join your community, but you’re then expected to actually have a real plan, a real message, ground rules, safety nets, outreach programs, mission thoughts, offer the sacraments, spiritual leadership, fellowship, potlucks, volunteer options, bake sales, and I think I’ve made my point. As quickly as you start to attempt to form your own community, you run the same risks any other church community runs. Things can either go nowhere, or quickly get out of control.
When I state that I think there are many things that the churches of the world could be doing better, I definitely understand why they fall short. Many churches had a start as something small. They were a group of like-minded individuals who got together with a Bible and had high hopes that they would be able to do something great in their secular community. They weren’t necessarily thinking of church constitutions, or liturgy options, or what type of leadership they wanted, or how to best offer fellowship, or whatever else. They were getting together to worship God’s Word.
So, what should be most important? What format they use? What their stance on Real Presence is? At what age they baptize their children? What sort of leadership organization they have backing them up? Or should the number one priority really be about the worship side of things?
I may want a much much more personal connection to my worship services, and I may find that someday (I’m not saying my search is over yet), but I think the real importance of the church, no matter what else I might have said, is really getting believers together, even if God’s Word isn’t always the topic at hand between them. I mean, isn’t that the entire point of a church? Isn’t the church merely a community of believers? I may have listed many expectations that one should have regarding their church, but in the end, when looking at why churches are really in existence, the main purpose is to get Christians together. What they do once they get together is most definitely important, but getting them together in the first place is the number one concern, as far as I can see it.
So, what does that actually mean? I’m obviously not going to join the first church that I see just because I think that the community is important, am I? Of course not, I’m a church snob. But I am realizing more and more that the friendly churches, the ones that want to accept new people in and relate to them, and worship with them, are the ones that have become much more attractive to me. I want to find a community that I can actually feel as though I fit in with. Sure, there are many other important things that I think a church should offer. And I hope that the church that I do finally settle in with offers many of them, or are willing to hear my thoughts on them.
So, that, of course means that I still don’t have an answer for myself and my family, but it does mean I feel that I’m getting closer. But what are your thoughts? What do you want out of your church? Or even more so. . . what brought you to the church you are currently in?
Next week should be the last week of this series, I believe. I’ve got an article written by someone else on the matter that I think shows that I’m not quite the only person who has come to the conclusions I’ve reached so far, and, of course, I’ve got a long-winded response to it.